"Capacity to ..... " - what did u just say?

Stepping harder on the accelerator, I couldn't wait to get home to pen down my thoughts, afraid they would vanish into the deep abyss of my mind. I had a great conversation with an old friend, sharing the struggles of the reality, our hopes for the future, and reminiscing the good times.

[ Somehow, this simplistic classification of the past/present/future seems to put time on a linear scale. I remember how Einstein once described the theory of relativity in terms of the expansion and contraction of time, analogous to how a minute of life-n-death can seem to drag to eternity whilst a minute of pure enjoyment whizzes by. Well, I would like to think that life exists on the premise of continuity - am i even making sense here? Perhaps I contradict myself. I'd like to believe there are forces greater than life, and even the use of language, bounds such a "force" and limits it to a form, just for the human mind to comprehend.. Well, I digress. =) ]

Being in the privileged position exposes me to much more. And often, the reality is harsher and less-than-perfect than what someone with a "tunnel-vision" would ever comprehend. Seeking to find where one is positioned in the overall strat-map is tough enough. Now, I think the real difficulty of the upper-upper management, really, is the management of one's own emotions n expectations.

I put forth myself as an example (still a small fish in a big pond I recognise). As I get myself more plugged into the ongoing developments, increasingly I find the gaps between what's promised (abt the "future" <- is this even an appropriate description?), the more disappointment I can't help but feel. The untrained mind of mine, immediately thinks, "what's wrong? How could no one have noticed it? Why doesn't anyone do anything about it?". And being the idealist, I find myself increasingly perturbed. Upset? Yes, sometimes.

At this point, my meeting with my dear friend today, shared with me timely words of wisdom. To know more is a privilege, and if I so allow myself to get disillusioned at this point, the game is over.

Perhaps, it really is true, that almost everyone who's passionate about life, would feel enthusiastic at the start of any game. More often than not, many have lost the internal battle and gave up, jaded. It doesn't just happen here. It happens everywhere. How now, should I hold and sustain what little energy and enthusiasm I have now, and keep myself going? Can I always keep up with my current ways of giving my all? To this, I also increasingly find that I know where my energy comes from (from my superiors at least). Empowerment, trust and appreciation.

So anyway, some parting thoughts in a half-f@#$ mathematical scenario-problem(?):

The Facts.
Technology => Capability
Technology = $$$$

The Reality.

Everything boils down to the money. Just like in any country, where the bulk of the country's spendings goes to, serves as an indication for the citizens (n the rest of the world) to realise for themselves where the focus is at. Perhaps I should rephrase - ... is comprehended by the citizen to be the focus of the country's attention.

So with the same frame of mind, we look at defense budget spendings and pass our judgements based on the absolute values.

What if 1 x "Technology-junkie" = $$$, we are left with $ (out of the total of $$$$) to spend on "the rest".

We all recognise that technology is expensive.... and recognising that That IS the reality, is it really true that we are lacking focus in other areas?

We all know that:
Capability =/> Technology

Some wise guru must have figured that out long ago. It's just the minds of the many others that we must convince. It is this gap that we must fill; continuum/continuity we must seek.
Let's not do ourselves in.